4. Grit.
Running, writing, motherhood and the book that reminded me to keep going.
The Write Spxt is a weekly newsletter from a book marketer with a decade of experience at two Big Five publishers. It’s for writers seeking publishing tools, readers looking for great recs, and humans who love to journal, observe, and reflect.
I’m not sure how or why I decided to read Grit by Dr. Angela Duckworth. It might have been because I “stumbled”1 across her TedTalk, which is a short 6 minute lecture on the power of perseverance. Then, when I learned she was an author, I did what I always do: I looked for the publisher. At the time, I was a senior marketing manager at Gallery Books. A smile stretched across my face when I saw that her book, Grit, was published by an imprint at the company I worked for. I started listening to the audiobook immediately. I’d press play while running around my neighborhood, my deep breaths in and out the only other sound against nature. Something about running while listening to Grit felt powerful to me: pushing myself to put one foot in front of the other despite my calves telling me to stop; reminding myself to keep my back straight, to spring forward on my tip-toes instead of the soles of my feet; despite the heat from Florida’s sun. It is like running in place, but moving forward, I reminded myself. And as I ran, Angela Duckworth’s voice said, “Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quite another.”
The TedTalk on grit was released in 2013. The first print of Grit was published in 2016. I found it in March 2023 when I was 34 years old. The audiobook became my companion as I ran to the gym, trying to create a new routine for myself in the first year of becoming a homeowner in a new city. A grown up! The responsibility of owning a home while being a parent scared me because I was traumatized from remembering the homes my parents lost to foreclosure in my childhood. As I exercised, Dr. Duckworth’s voice became the fuel that propelled me forward because I felt everything she was saying. Her research is based on the foundation of how I have been living my life – picking a big picture goal and taking actionable steps towards that vision day in, day out and not steering away from that compass. It was how I felt about my creative life, the career I was building in book publishing, the effort I was putting in to stay physically fit, the commitment towards my marriage and motherhood. I began to feel emotional when I was reminded of the family and friends who have confided in me about their difficulty staying on task with something they wanted to accomplish. I wanted to take the book to the top of a mountain, hold it up to the sky like Mufasa did with Simba and yell, “This is the information you need!!!!!!!!!”
This email, my friend, is the mountain top.
Dr. Duckworth holds a B.A. in Advanced Studies Neurobiology, graduating magna cum laude in 1992. She later earned an M.Sc. in Neuroscience with Distinction in 1996, supported by a Marshall Scholarship. In 2006, she completed her Ph.D. in Psychology, focusing her research on grit, self-control and achievement.
I needed to take notes for myself so I got myself a physical copy of Grit. It wasn’t that I was struggling with being consistent because I knew and understood that formula. I also was extremely familiar with my potential - I believe in myself deeply. At the time, though, I was struggling with not quitting.
For as long as I can remember, I have been living my life from the lens of creative and intuitive guidance. Many of my big life choices were based on a feeling. I did not consider math - the probability of an outcome being a success or a failure. I would make a plan then dive in, faithfully, and roll with any mistakes because my optimistic perspective reminded me always that all the pieces will fall into place - I just needed to keep going.
That worldview was challenged when I became a mother at 30 years old. I looked around me and was mortified: What did I do with all the time I had? Why hadn’t I been more strategic with my time? I reflected back on my twenties and was disgusted with the younger me who complained about writer's block. Writer's block with a baby was an entity that had prickly hair on its skin, teeth in an ugly mouth and a hoarse, crippling laugh.
Those moments of creative drought terrified me and made me wonder why I hadn’t chosen a more promising path like medicine, law or engineering. Maybe, I thought to myself, my dad was right when he said I won’t make any money as a writer.
When I began reading Grit, my child was four-years-old. I knew that I needed to figure something out quickly because whenever I sat down to write, there was a voice in my head telling me to give up already. The child needs you, the voice told me, and you’re here chasing a dream you still haven’t been able to realize. Despite the voice, I kept going—writing, running, showing up for the life I was building. But it wasn’t enough. I didn’t just want to persist. I wanted to silence the voice that kept telling me to be a responsible adult and get a “real” job.
“When you keep searching for ways to change your situation for the better, you stand a chance of finding them. When you stop searching, assuming they can’t be found, you guarantee they won’t,” Dr. Duckworth writes.
I went into the arena with that ugly voice and got in my fighting stance, fists up.
And I won.
Book Recommendations on Perseverance
Podcasts I’m Enjoying
Danny Morel visits The School of Greatness to share the 3 energies of human mastery WATCH
In his final interview, Mikaben visits Sejoe Space to share what he’d tell his younger self WATCH
In this audio, I sat with Mitchelle Ray-Williams at the park as our children ran around playing. Every Monday evening, while her oldest son is at soccer practice, we decompress and chat about everything under the setting sun. On this night, we talked about writing with a grand entrance from Elijah, Mitchelle’s middle child.
Media mentioned while chatting with Mitchelle
Archer & Olive stationary BROWSE
All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque READ
The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner READ
Are you open to being featured on The Write Spxt?
Send an email to youarrived@thewritespxt.com!
Remember: nothing is a coincidence.